Sunday, 29 August 2010

Middle Lane Drivers

Before I start ranting on about the forthcoming topic, I would just like to point out that I am, in no uncertain terms the greatest driver. I have my good points and my bad points. The bad points mainly outwaying the good ones I'm afraid. My recent motorbike theory test highlighted the fact that my attitude towards the road needs to be somewhat more positive.
However, middle lane drivers, and by that I mean cars that stay in the middle lane of a motorway or A road, or the outside lane of a dual carrige way no matter the fact that there is no traffic in the inside lane is a constant niggle of most motorists and really gets on my nipples.
Do these people not know that they should stay in the inside lane? Do they not know that they are causing a high percentage of traffic delays with huge trails of cars that often line up behind them? Do they not know that they are endangering the lives of other people who end up having to overtake on the inside? How did these people pass their test?
They just seem oblivious to the fact that they are enraging the driver/s behind. Even when you manage to pass them and give them an angry stare they look straight ahead of sideways look in any mirror...both hands on the steering wheel in the 10 to two position...not blinking...etc. Anyone looking for evidence of extra terrestrial life need look no further. How these people manage to navigate the roads of Britain with one fixed position is way beyond my understandings and they definitely must have some higher power working with them.

Saturday, 28 August 2010

Service at any Cost!!!

It's unbelievable how quickly manners get thrown out of the window when a place in a queue is in question. I was under the impression that the British people as a whole had a certain reputation regarding queuing and that nomatter the conditions, we notoriously queue in an orderly fashion, but obviously to my annoyance, I had found the black sheep.
I couldn't believe it. I was just about to enter the butchers with my daughter when a car pulled up next to me, the lady driver (the black sheep) quickly opened the car door, cutting off our entry and then rushed into the shop ahead of us without even a second glance; obviously too engaged in her own matters to care about anyone or anything else around her. Even more infuriating was the fact that she then decided to buy half the shop and take forever. I would like to think that the average person would have more manners and have the forthought, observation skills and basic analysis skills to note that young children do not have the best reputation of queuing or being patient in dull situations and let them go first.
A minor element of retribution (of which I remained silent) was when my daughter (silently as well) deposited a mixture of snot and dribble onto the black sheep's foot.
I am someone that is fiercly in favour of correct  manners and proper etiquette in most situations and failiure to follow this I deem rude and obnoxious. If I see people behaving like this towards others I get really angry, if I see people behaving like this to my family or myself I want to shove their head up their own bottom.

Thursday, 26 August 2010


I am sure that there are alot of cat lovers out there who are apalled at the behaviour of the woman who wheeley binned the cat. To be honest I can completely empathise with the lady as some of the cats around my area have a tendency of doing their business in the middle of my lawn or in other peoples' houses.

Last year I joined the millions who have probably ebayed 'cat deterrent' and got anything from cat repelling gel to spikes you put on your fences...I went for the spikes. After a few occasional squawks from the neighbourhood cats as they jumped up and clung on to the spikes they soon adapted. (Like the borg). The next step was the hose adaptor which ended up getting me just as wet as any potential fact the morning after I had set it up there was a huge cat deposit right on top of it! I couldn't believe it. Not only had the cat completed mission impossible getting to the thing without setting it off, it must also have been a contortion artist to get into the correct position to give me the cat equivalent of an 'up yours'. I don't think wheeley bins will appear on ebay under cat deterrent and I know that the lady should not really have done it but when I wander out into my garden on a lovely summers day to my lovely green grass and have to clean up someone elses pet poo, I do sympathise.

It started in America